Here is a roundup of our news reports on Bluesky. This is the inaugural edition of “This Week in Sh*t News.”
Come follow us on Bluesky 🦋 for more banging news reports in 300 characters or less.
Our first ever report on Bluesky is about Trump’s illegal attack on Iran.
The new War on Terror remake is lame. We can’t believe Disney green-lit this film.
A little about ourselves. This is news, right?
A note from our Editor-in-Chief, Pat Cleaver, on who the heck we are even. "Honesty. Even if it’s made up. Integrity. Even if it’s slimey." #satire #journalism #USpolitics
The Daily NewzX — a note from our Editor, Pat Cleaver
Who the heck are we?
J.D. Vance explains that we are at war with Iran’s nuclear program — not actually Iran. You see, Iran and Iran’s nuclear program are no longer together, they separated. They used to love each other very much, but sometimes countries and programs grow apart from each other. Also, Vance lies according to sources close to the matter — himself.
Today J.D. Vance said, "No, we're not at war with Iran, we're at war with Iran's nuclear program." Seems like a good time to reference the fact that Vance just makes shit up. Source: https://buff.ly/3d61uBn "The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” #USpol
Trump posts on Truth Social about making Iran great again (MIGA).
Trump touts, “Make Iran Great Again!” So… America Second, yeah? MAGA:
Sometimes our sources provide us with some great stories. Are they always accurate? You decide. This one is about RFK JR.
RFK JR creates task force to investigate whether Hitler had one testicle as some historians claim. In a newly released report by RFK JR, he suggests Hitler may have had three testicles. Two for sperm production and a third for writing legislation. But RFK JR insists he’s definitely not a Nazi.
A bold new strategy for democratic leadership.
We would like to suggest a new, bold strategy for democratic leadership — instead of catapulting trans folks, try catapulting sexual predators. It’s so radical, it just might work. #TransRightsAreHumanRights #FuckCuomo
This whole, "sexual assault and harassment is bad when Trump does it, but ok when our side does it," is sending a really clear message that the old guard of Democratic leadership only cares about women when it's politically advantageous. www.politico.com/news/2025/06...
Former critics who once demanded Cuomo resign are now endorsing him
A POLITICO review of Cuomo’s touted endorsers found that few of them stood by him in 2021.
New Yorkers came out in support of Zohran Mamdani in the mayoral democratic primary this week. It turns out democrats don’t like sexual predators who are endorsed by other sexual predators. We can’t say the same for republicans.
A Note from the Editor.
Thanks for tuning in to this week’s installment of “This Week in Sh*t News,” which is the first of its kind. Going forward, we will be rounding up our coverage of all the shit news that we reported through Bluesky on Fridays or Saturdays — we haven’t decided on the day yet. We may occasionally include a more fleshed out piece or note from the editor, like this one.
We at The Daily NewzX pride ourselves on integrity that bends like licorice. We stand on our values like a doormat. We walk tall like a snake. We answer to no man, nay, we answer to two billionaire men. We will be unmoved like houses in a tornado or spit in the wind. We will stand up for what is right, good, ethical, and enduring for all of humanity, while sitting at our desks.
And last, but not least, Sally Pinkerton come to my office and retrieve your iPhone. You left it in the conference room again, and please for the love of goddess use a pin to lock it, because Pete Hegseth was accidentally texting you about Iran again. We should probably all just preemptively block him on Signal moving forward.
Yours insincerely,
Pat Cleaver, editor-in-person.